Acordes usados
Bb5
A5
B5
C#5
E5
Eb5
C
G
D
A
F
Bb
B
Bm
E
Am
Dm
Em
Fm
1.
I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks (ver. 2)
Tom: BbAvançadoBb5
A5
B5
C#5
E5
Eb5
Song: I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks
spoken:
If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
Bb5 A5 My friend Jerry B5Vandergrift kissed me in C#5Home Ec. class E5 B5
A5Later in the afternoon some B5jarheads in the locker room C#5kicked my ass
B5 A5 I said guys I'm like B5you I like Monster Trucks E5too
Wanna see how Eb5many C#5push-ups I can A5do?
I just wish I was B5queer so I could get
E5Chicks dig guys that are
B5Queer guys that don't dig
E5Chicks that don't dig guys like B5me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugA5ly
A5But if I were B5handsome just imagine how C#5great it would be E5 B5
IncoA5gnito as a gay though but not B5actually that way though pseudo C#5homo phony
B5 A5Maybe it's a stupid theory B5or maybe just stupidiE5ty
But if I was a Eb5queerC#5bee in the fashion induA5stry
Scoring with a B5super model would be C#5easy
Cause 'super A5model' means voluptuous but B5also is synonomous with
'C#5super dumb' E5 B5
Ya see I'd A5be a good listener so she'd B5treat me like a sister and
C#5soon I'd become B5
A5 That trusted friend that B5cares that rubs her back and braids her E5hair
No it wouldn't Eb5be a C#5week before I'm in her underA5wear
I wish I was B5queer so I could get
E5Chicks dig guys that are
B5Queer guys that don't dig
E5Chicks that don't dig guys like B5me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugA5ly
E5Chicks C#5 C#5 B5 A5 Bb5 B5 B5 A5 C#5 Eb5
E5C#5C#5B5A5Bb5B5B5A5C#5Eb5
C#5Chicks dig guys that are
B5Queer guys that don't dig
C#5Chicks dig guys that are
E5Queer guys B5that don't dig
C#5Chicks dig guys that are
B5Queer guys that don't dig
C#5Chicks that don't dig guys like E5me
See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC#5ly
And I B5don't shave my heiny
C#5Don't shave my heiny
E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC#5ly
And I B5don't shave my heiny
C#5Don't shave my heiny
E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too ugC#5ly
And I B5don't shave my heiny
C#5Don't shave my heiny
E5 See I'm not B5queer I'm too uC#5gly
2.
I'm The Least You Can Do
Tom: CMédioC
G
D
A
F
CGDA
Powerchords (0:14)
CGDA
CGDA
CIt always sucks refolding the kind of map
Needed Gwhen I get stuck where the sun don't shine the fact
Is ifC I just shut up my rubbered stamp could flag you as duGmb
CIt ain't your mind you're giving me a piece of
As it Gdon't take Einstein to know that's just obscene but
It's been CBuck Rogers' time since I hit other than rock bottGom
Break (1:01)
CGCGA
CEven the odds of having you against me
With your Gcrotchless Jihad on blue balls evidently
Are all Cmighty good god so angel dust my soul like James BGrown
CStreet legal whore hauling so much stunning ass
GSell yourself short like Bridget at the bunny ranch
CDo it all fours the satisfaction of getting foulGed
GI'm the least you could Fdo G
If only lDife were as easy as yAou
I'm the least you coulFd do (ohG Yeah)
If only lDife were as easy as yAou
I would still get screwCed
CGCGA
CI don't care if getting under someone that's
GBeneath you fits the M.O. of conundrum as
CYou reckoned this was just a fancy word for rubGbers
CI aim to get a bang out of working your
GWeak spot that sets the bar so low just nerve can score
CWith no respect since oddly danger feels like pay dGirt
GI'm the least you could Fdo G
If only lDife were as easy as yAou
I'm the least you could Fdo (oh GYeah)
If only lDife were as easy as yAou
I'm the least you coulFd do G
If only lDife were as easy as yAou
I'm the least you could Fdo (oh YGeah)
If only lDife were as easy as yAou If only...
CGDA
CWhen my fumbling breakGs you should
DI thank your dad for the dAamaged goods?
CWhen my fumbling bGreaks you should
DI thank your dad for the dAamaged goods?
CWhen my fumbling brGeaks you should
DI thank your dad for the dAamaged goods?
CWhen my fumbling brGeaks you should
DI thank your dad for the dAamaged goods?
CC
GC
3.
Along Comes Mary
Tom: GMédioG
D
C
Bb
B
1. GEvery times I think that I'm the Donly one who's lonely,
someone Dcalls on Cme.
GAnd every now and then I spend my Dtime at rhyme and verse and curse
those Dfaults in Cme.
And then Galong comes Mary. BbMary Mary. Then Galong comes Mary. BMary Mary.
And does she Gwant to give me Dkicks and be my Dsteady chick
and Cgive me pick of Gmemories. Bb
Or maybe Grather gather Dtales from all the Dfails
and tribuClations no one Gever sees. Bb
DWhen we Dmet I was sure out Dto Clunch.
Now my empDty Gcup tastes as sweet Das the Dpunch. Sweet as the Gpunch.
2. GWhen vague desire is the fire in Dthe eyes of chicks whose sickness
is the Dgames they Cplay.
GAnd when the masquerade is played and Dneighbor folks make jokes as who
is Dmost to blame Ctoday.
And then Galong comes Mary. BbMary Mary. Then Galong comes Mary. BMary Mary.
And does she Gwant to set them Dfree and let them Dsee reality
from Cwhere she Ggot her name.Bb
And will Gthey struggle Dmuch when told thatD such a tender touch of hers
Will make Cthem not the Gsame. Bb
DWhen we Dmet I was sure out Dto Clunch.
Now my empDty Gcup tastes as sweet Das the Dpunch. Sweet as the Gpunch.
3. GAnd when the morning of warnings Dpassed the gassed and flacid kids
are flung Dacross the Cstars.
GThe psychodramas and the traumas gone, Dthe songs are left unsung and
hung uDpon the scCars.
And then Galong comes Mary. BbMary Mary. Then Galong comes Mary. BMary Mary.
And does Gshe want to see thBbe strains the deGad remains of all Bthe pains
She Cleft the night Gbefore. Bb
Or will Gtheir waking Deyes reflect the Dlies
and make Cthem realize their Gurgent cry Bb for sight no more.
DWhen we Dmet I was sure out Dto Clunch.
Now my empDty Gcup tastes as sweet Das the Dpunch. Sweet as the Gpunch.
4.
The Bad Touch
Tom: BmMédioBm
D
A
E
-:Intro:-
BmDAE
-:Verse 1:-
BmSweat baby sweat baby Dsex is a Texas drought
Me and you Ado the kind of stuff that only EPrince would sing about
So put your Bmhands down my pants and I'll Dbet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm ASiskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're Egetting two thumbs up
You've had Bmenough of two-hand touch you want it Drough you're out of bounds
I want you Asmothered want you covered like my EWaffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than BmFedEx never reach an apex like DCoca-Cola stock you are
inclined
To make me Arise an hour early just like EDaylight Savings Time
Do it now
-:Chorus:-
BmYou and me baby ain't Dnothin' but mammals
So let's Ado it like they do on the DisEcovery Channel
Do it again now
BmYou and me baby ain't Dnothin' but mammals
So let's Ado it like they do on the DiEscovery Channel
Getting horny now
BmDAE
-:Verse 2:-
Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? let me be specific I wanna be down in your south seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisory
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, b5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm mister coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours Ill show you mine tool time you'll lovett just like lyle
And then well do it doggy style so we can both watch x-files
-:Chorus:-
Do it now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Gettin horny now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Do it again now
You and me baby aint nothin but mammals
So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel
Gettin horny now
5.
Altogether Ooky
Tom: FMédioF
Am
C
Dm
FCaught you
Sniffing my boAmxers C
FWho the fuck does that
At Red LobAmster? C
FCreepy
Like when Tom Cruise laAmughs C
FThat's how your finger
Felt in my asAms C
I'm gonna cFome to your house on the back of a horse with
A buCnch of villagers carrying torches
MoFst of whom dislike moDmnsters like you, giAmrl C
FDmAmC
ThFe way
Your kisses tAmasted C
SkFeeve me the hell out
Like shitting nAmaked C
WhFy would
I wanna stay friAmends? C
FRather get raped by
Clowns agAmain C
I'm gonna cFome to your house on the back of a horse with
A buCnch of villagers carrying torches
MoFst of whom dislike moDmnsters like you, giAmrl C
I'm gonna cFome to your house on the back of a horse with
A buCnch of villagers carrying torches
MoFst of whom dislike moDmnsters like you, giAmrl C
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again
I ruFb the lotion Dmon the skin
Or eAmlse I get the hCose again...
6.
Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss
Tom: AmCapo 3MédioAm
C
F
Guitar Riff
CHORDS
AmDog will hunt I'm the Cfront end loader travFoltin' over so try my slam on for size
AmDrive stick with that Ckung-fu grip let the banFana split and watch it go right to your thighs
AmCop a feel CopperfiCeld style abracadFabra that bra do you think i can pull it off?
AmWanna bang around? just jot me dCown on your to-do list under "Fput out like a fire" 'cause
AmI got somethin' and Cit goes thumpin' like Fthis
All you Amneed is my Cuhn tiss uhn tiss uhn Ftiss
AmI got somethin' and Cit goes thumpin' like Fthis
All you Amneed is my Cuhn tiss uhn tiss uhn Ftiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
AmEdible strange Chow do i get Fin your pants when you're tick tockin' them
AmSerious levis? so tight can't be classifCied that's why I'm hFere to fill that opening
AmMake a seasoned Cpass to mount that aFss and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance
AmLet's go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a sCuperball brFing that sunny side up and
AmI got somethin' and Cit goes thumpin' like Fthis
All you Amneed is my Cuhn tiss uhn tiss uhn Ftiss
AmI got somethin' and Cit goes thumpin' like Fthis
All you Amneed is my Cuhn tiss uhn tiss uhn Ftiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
7.
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Tom: GFácilG
Em
C
D
GVulcanEmize the whoopee Cstick
DIn the ham wallet
GCattle pEmrod the oyster dCitch
DWith the lap rocket
GBatter Emdip the cranny Cax
DIn the gut locker
GRetrofEmit the pudding hCatch (ooh la la)
DWith the boink swatter
CIf i get you in the loop
when I make a point to be strGaight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo Din the end
know my intent though
CI brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
EmI don't wanna Dbeat around the bush
GFoxtrot EmUnifrom CCharlie DKilo
GFoxtrot EmUniform CCharlie DKilo
MGarEminaCteD the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple
ICf Gi DgeCt EmyouD in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
FGoxEmtroCt DUnifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
PGutEm thCe Dyou know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
GPronto
8.
The Ballad Of Chasey Lain (acoustic)
Tom: AMédioA
C
F
E
G
Dear Chasey Lian, AI wrote to explain C
I'm your biggest fFan E
I just wanted to Aask, could I eat your aCss
Write back ass soon as you cFan E
You've hAad a lot of dick
(CHad a lot of dick)
I've hFad a lot of time
(EHad a lot of time)
You've hAad a lot of dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey LAain I wrote to coCmplain
Ya never wrote me Fback E
How could I ever eAat Your ass when ya tCreat
Your biggest fan like tFhat? E
You've hAad a lot of dick
(CHad a lot of dick)
I've hFad a lot of time
(EHad a lot of time)
You've hAad a lot of dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Dear Chasey LAain I wrote to consCtrain
This letter is my lFast E
As your biggest fAan I must deCmand
You let me eat your aFss E
You've hAad a lot of dick
(CHad a lot of dick)
I've hFad a lot of time
(EHad a lot of time)
You've hAad a lot of dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine
Ending:
P.S. GMom and Dad this is Chasey
CAhasey this is my mom and dad
Now show em them tCitties
Now show em them tGitties
P.S. GMom and Dad this is Chasey
CAhasey this is my mom and dad
Now show em them tCitties
Now show em them tGitties
Would you fuck me for blow?
9.
Screwing You On The Beach At Night
Tom: BmMédioBm
D
Fm
A
E
BmNothing heats up my Djacuzzi like when
this Fmused thong I found and bedAazzled with gems
Bmbrushes ever so gentlDy against some Fmboobs. A
IBm guess it's hard to belDieve that one man
coFmuld have a ponytail this sAensitive and
diBmstract an aggressive Dhawk that's cornered Fmyou. A
BmI know my haiku's are fDreaking intense
but Fmeven the words I made uAp to sound French
dBmon't express my feelings Dfor your toilet pFmarts. A
BmI would show up for our Dpottery class
Fmdressed like a pirate with John AWater's mustache
BmOn a unicorn that Dshits your name in Fmstars. A
DFuckings cool, but EJimmy's the romantic type. Fm
Loitering on Acliffs, thinking about stuff like,
SDcrewing you Eon the beach at Fmnight. x2 A
One milkshake, two straws.
BmDFmA
DFuckings cool, but EJimmy's the romantic type. Fm
Loitering on Acliffs, thinking about stuff like,
SDcrewing you Eon the beach at Fmnight. x2 A
BmDon't I (Don't I)
DSound so (Sound so)
FmSexy (Sexy)
AEcho (Echo.) x2
Release the doves!
10.
American Bitches
Tom: GMédioG
D
C
Am
Em
GRaise your hand if you Dlike American bCitches C
Locked in girl on girl kGisses D
Well, I Cdo Am
GYou're just mad you can't sDcore American bCitchesC
So you're blowing up shit, Gwhich D
Just goes to Cprove Am
That eiCghteen year old bAmombs are dynaGmite D
Yes, eiCghteen year old bAmombs are dynaGmite D
What kind of a mDan sits Indian style?
GCamping with your bDros, as your playoff beard gCrows
Ain't gonna gAmet your wack ass laid
GCamping with your bDros, as your playoff beard gCrows
Ain't gonna gAmet your wack ass laid Em Em
Trust me holmes, you would kill for American bitches
And the freedom of tits if
You only knew, who-hoo
That eighteen year old bombs are dynamite
Yes, eighteen year old bombs are dynamite
(What kind of a man sits Indian style?)
CCome to Infidelphia
And fAmall in love with the unholy
GMy boy knows this stripper that looks jDust like Angelina Jolie
CJust
Don't bring uAmp
What that cluGb
You belong to dDoes...
DDungeons & Dragons
GWhere I come fDrom bras are booby Ctraps
And soft targets hAmave a bikini wax