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My show is Da little bit silly and a liGttle bit pretenDtious G
Like ShDakespeare's willy or NGoam ChomskyBm9 wearing a strap on, A
It's Dalso a little bit gay anGd a little offDensive, G
Like ThDanksgiving Day or NoaGm Chomsky Bm9wearing a strap on, A
So put your cell phDones to vibrate, G
And put your vibratoBm9rs to cell phoneA mode,
DWelcome to the show it goes a littleG bit like this, Bm9
JOKE... (laAugh)... exactly.
DWelcome to my flow it flows a littGle bit like this, Bm9
With a rap Aa dist and a,
DSwift rap on the wrist aG wrap and a kiss,
Bm9Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit. A
DI got a show that'll test ya Gkids,
Then ask Bm9one question and the question is, A
What's funnDy? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funnAy?
Oh, HumDor is often linked to sGhared experienBm9ce, A
Like a guyD gets up and says,
"have you noticeGd that public restrooms have really inefficient hanBm9d dryers, A
Oh my god, Dyes I have, HA GHA HA, Bm9
Really good point, Athey should fix that, D
Its gGood to know that somebody finBm9ally gets me, A
because my wife divDorced me which Sub-Consciously forced me, G
to lBm9ose all sense of self.A
So its niDce to think about hand dryersG and not that cheating whoBm9re, A
Because standD up comedy is actually pretty eGasy, Bm9 A
If you're an asianD comic just get up and saGy,
"My mothers got the weirdest fucBm9king accent" A
then just do, aD chinese accent, becGause everybody laughs at the chinese acceBm9nt, A
Because they privatelDy thought that your people were laughableG,
And now you've given themBm9 the chance to express that in publiAc,
If you're a musiDcal comic, just give 'em a litGtle weird voice inflectBm9ion A
Then takeD a Viagra and slap 'em withG a rock hard misdiBm9rection
What's funnDy? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funnAy?
stop
TOURETTE'S!
What's funnDy? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funnAy? And the audience says
When I was a baby, maDybe I laughed at peopGle jiggling keys, Bm9 A
Now I'm olderD and bolder,
And just get mad 'caGuse i notice that the keys are to a HummerBm9, A
Fuck my life ID don't fuck my wife, G
so fuck my wife anBm9d fuck my life, A
and my son is gay, butD not sitcom gay, G
My daughter's a whore likBm9e another girl who used to be her motheAr,
But the marrDiage made her miss merry americana, G
Bm9I want a teen without screamiAng prima-donna,
But the radiDcal feminists made my wifGe a man, Bm9 A
And if I dieD happy the situation Gwill be autoerotic asphyxBm9iation, A
DI hate my life Gand it hates me back, Bm9 A
and my friend is black, D
but I Gdon't know what to call him, so Bm9I just call hiAm...
D"Yo whatup JGamaal?", Bm9
Even though his name is Steve, A
I DHate my job I hate my life, hate my kidsG I hate my wife,
Bm9Jews would know I do it; Judas beatA me to it,
DI'm slowly slipping into a solipsisticG coma, Bm9 A
A just strum angrily a bunch of times
And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to fuck me....
.....
What's funnDy? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funnAy?
stop
*pop* It's a boy!
What's funnDy? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funnAy?
Hopefully this D A D
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