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GDear Abby, Dear Abby, my Cfeet are too Glong
GMy hair's falling out and my A7rights are all Dwrong
GMy friends they all tell me, they're Cno friends at Gall
Won't you wGrite me a letter, won't you Dgive me a Gcall
CSigDned BeGwildered
Bewildered, Bewildered you have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy
Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint ...
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this
But my stomache makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
But my stomache tells me to write you instead
Signed Noisemaker.
Noisemaker, Noisemaker, you have no complaint ...
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint ...
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood
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